Thursday, November 12, 2009

Baby Maya Turns One


To commemorate my one and only daughter's first birthday, I thought I'd share the story I sent out a year ago when I tried to change her first diaper...
"I received a crash course in changing little girl diapers last night at the hospital. Her first poop was a doozy. We heard her go (a very discrete, ladylike evacuation), waited a few minutes and then I proceeded to change her on the sad little "Dad cot" they have in the room for the man to "relax" on.  
I took off the diaper, started wiping (front to back, front to back...) and thought to myself, "Huh, not too tough."  She wasn't done. Not even close.  
Out came a fresh batch of soft serve all over my "bed". I'm laughing and trying to figure out how to negotiate this mess and I lift her feet up to keep her out of it too. I get started on cleaning that up, which was her cue to release a very un-ladylike Round 3 that of course goes right down her back since I have her feet up. I introduce Maya to some of Daddy's favorite curse words and Heather is totally cracking up behind me in her bed. As we're laughing and I realize I've used up a whole pack of wipes and have accomplished little more than spreading the stuff around the bed, I hit the Eject button and call for the nurse to bail me out.  
Sugar and spice and everything nice...yeah right."

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Had a touching Father-Son moment with Max tonight...

Max: "Dad, can I have your pocketknife when I grow up?"
Me: "Hmm, I dunno. Whose pocketknife would I use then?"
Max: "You'll be dead."
Good talk, son.